In His Circle

How to Release Your Inner Critic and Break Old Identity Patterns | Ep 19

• Tiffany Windsor • Episode 19

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Have you ever felt trapped in a cycle of negative thoughts, overwhelmed by life's challenges? Discover how shifting your mindset and embracing your identity in Christ can transform your life. In this heartfelt episode, we explore the profound impact of "mind wars" and the power of prayer. Through personal stories and church teachings, host Tiffany Windsor and her guest Mary Koning discuss ideas for developing healthier thought patterns and emphasize the importance of speaking God's truth, even when our feelings suggest otherwise.

Join us as we delve into finding peace and positivity through faith, especially during times of discouragement and highlight how prayer serves as a divine weapon against life's struggles. We discuss how identifying and shifting our mindset can open new paths and possibilities, all while trusting in God's unwavering presence and infinite love. Concluding with a heartfelt prayer, we encourage you to embrace hope and gratitude in God's holy presence. You're never alone on this journey.

You can find all our episode information at https://www.inhiscircle.com and join us on Instagram and Facebook. You can also watch our podcast episodes on YouTube - Please join our community!

Announcer:

Welcome to In His Circle, from women for women. We're here to help you find peace in knowing you are in God's hands. Our goal is sharing the Word of God in simple conversations. We're here to help you thrive every day. And now, here is your host.

Tiffany Windsor:

Good morning. I'm Tiffany Windsor.

Mary Koning:

And I'm Mary Koning.

Tiffany Windsor:

And today we want to talk about identity. And, Mary, will you start us off in prayer?

Mary Koning:

I will. I'm thinking about our identity in Christ that once we surrender lordship, that I give over my lordship of my life, my kingdom of one, over to God, then I lose my identity in this world and become pure, blameless and forgiven. And, Lord, I'm so grateful that we're loved with an everlasting love. You will never leave us nor forsake us, so as we walk as new creations in Christ. Lord, I thank you, I'm grateful for you and fresh starts every day In Jesus' name, amen.

Tiffany Windsor:

Amen. Our topic today, as I mentioned, is identity, and this started actually at church this morning because the topic was mind wars and I've experienced and observed some people lately that fit in with this. But let's start off with what are mind wars, Mary?

Mary Koning:

Well, just like pastor said, it's our inner critic, is the inner voice, which is brutal sometimes and the enemy of our soul. So there's two things my inner critic building me up or breaking me down. And then, whatever breaking down is happening, the enemy just jumps right on that to steal, kill and destroy. Both of those are negative. So if my thoughts are negative, then I know those two things are going on.

Tiffany Windsor:

What I loved was the initial description of life is moving in the direction of your thoughts. That is so important. Where are your thoughts right now? Are you thinking worried versus peaceful? Are you thinking negative versus positive? Are you thinking worldly versus eternal? And we went through the exercise of grading ourself of where we fall in the scale of one to 10, ourselves of where we fall in the scale of one to 10, one being the worried side or the negative side, or the worldly side, and 10 being the peaceful, positive and eternal. It was a great exercise to go through.

Mary Koning:

And I've done calendar audits in the past and audits of my work-related projects, but I've never really thought about a mind audit and that was really powerful and I started out really, really rough and ended much stronger. And then I've also had much stronger years in the past where I've really made an effort to work on my thought life. I notice if I'm not intentional, my thoughts go south, which is not good.

Tiffany Windsor:

Your faith should be making a difference in your life. When you go into your negative thought in your mind wars, which again might be worried, might be negative, might be getting caught up in the worldly things that don't serve you. I love this example of reminding us to turn to God in those moments because your faith should be making a difference in your life. That's something definitely in my past year, Mary, as I've done my 21 days of prayer and the Circle Maker has really been teaching me, when the challenges come up, to turn immediately to prayer and it is so incredibly powerful and effective and successful.

Mary Koning:

I find that I know what works and try something different that doesn't work or not, tapping into that power that's available to me and how the Lord tells us how forgetful we are, that we're like children and we need to come to him as children, which is we don't know all the answers and we don't know what's coming next. But he does, and it's also trusting that our, our parent, being God, protect us and provide for us and supply for us what we need, and I want that it's peaceful need and I want that it's peaceful.

Tiffany Windsor:

One of the explanations that pastor said today was about neural pathways are our patterns, and so you have to walk a new path to create a new pattern, because if you continue to get stuck in the old patterns, it's going to be so challenging to try and walk your new path. I was in a situation yesterday where I was gathering with some people that I knew and some people I did not. I love to observe in situations, listen to the talk that's going on and how people are communicating. I was stunned to hear some of the words come out of the women around me who are Christian women, and to hear their negative talk. I don't know that.

Tiffany Windsor:

It was a situation that didn't really warrant that. So I found it very interesting. They were so comfortable speaking that way. I didn't try and step in and correct anything. So I'm just going to talk about it today, of what can we do in those moments to help our sisters, our circle sisters, to be able to shift that thought, because if they're so comfortable speaking to someone that they've never met before in that way, what are they doing in everyday life and everyday family and everyday work? That's the enemy getting into their thought patterns. I just pray that that stops for all of them and that the Lord speaks louder than the enemy so that they will shift that thinking in the moment that it starts coming out of their mouth.

Mary Koning:

And I had mentioned, out of the overflow of our heart, our mouth speaks and so you can tell what they are thinking by how they speak. We have a choice every time we open our mouth Is it grateful or is it critical? I try to walk that line of I don't want to be like happy clappy, just slapping some words I don't feel on it, but sometimes we have to speak it until we feel it. Speak the word of God, the truth of God, even if I don't feel it.

Mary Koning:

I had mentioned loved with an everlasting love. God will never leave us or forsake us, which means he will see us through every single circumstance and he is so creative. He doesn't need my help for a solution and he also doesn't need worldly things for a solution. So he's got infinite amounts of money and time and supplies and so when I think like that it helps bring it. It's like a string. It's pulling my mind up to where he is and a higher view of things, rather than looking around at this world and you know maybe what's on the news and the struggles friends are going through and trusting that God's got a great solution in mind.

Tiffany Windsor:

What's so interesting to me is I hear women who are caught in their old patterns and their negative thinking and they wonder why, and they don't hear themselves. When you don't hear yourself as you think, so you become. How important is it for you to change the patterns in your life? If it's important enough, you are going to seek the Lord and you are going to pray for the wisdom to come through in that moment and recognize that it's the enemy that's pulling you down.

Tiffany Windsor:

Honestly, I don't believe it's the worldly things per se. It's not your situation, it's the enemy getting in your head. First of all, what do you have to do? You have to be grateful for what you have, because if we are not grateful for what we have, I don't believe that we can turn that switch and walk the separate path. Create the new path, not the old pathways. I love this. Prayer is the place where God gets the microphone, as opposed to the enemy sitting on your shoulder and whispering things. When you go into prayer in the moment, it's going to be able to help you shift from the negative thinking that's being whispered in your ear.

Mary Koning:

It's a choice, isn't it?

Tiffany Windsor:

It is a choice. You need to make that choice more important than anything else. I was talking to you I think this was after church about oh, I don't have enough time. I'm trying to read the Bible this year, which I've never done in full. I've picked that, I picked the 365 days of creativity, I'm trying to read back through Circle Maker. And I said to you I don't have enough time for this, I can't keep up every day. And then, immediately, the message that came to me is get up out of your bed earlier in the morning, you have plenty of time. I realized in that moment I was being lazy because I can get up earlier and take care of all of this. It just has to be important enough.

Mary Koning:

And a choice, and I love that we choose to do things every single second. And I had listened to a podcast which I love, Natalie Hoffman and she had a guest speaker on. And Natalie talked about how she was so angry at her situation and the source of the anger ended up being lack of choices. And so she really dug into that to find out what was the problem with the choices and she felt like she didn't have any. And then that was step one. But that's not true. And then she figured out she maybe had two choices, but that didn't still feel like freedom, because the Lord has infinite choices, right?

Mary Koning:

And her guest said when you feel stuck like that, you need more than two. You need to come up with at least five and show yourself that you do have choices. They might not be the ones you want to take, but I pray the Lord will put a flashlight on your path. In Psalms it says the Lord be a light unto your feet and a lamp unto your path. I probably have that wrong, but it's just lighting up the next step. So we don't need next year's plan or even next month's plan, we just need the next step. Sometimes, especially if we're overwhelmed.

Tiffany Windsor:

So I ask everyone one more time what is your identity today? Are you identifying as being worried, negative, or are you shifting your thought and your prayers to bring you into peace and positive and feeling the eternal love of God in your life and a reminder that prayer is a weapon of heaven? I love that Pastor said that today. I pray for you that in the moments when you are feeling discouraged and you are feeling down and you're feeling like there's no one there to help you, God is always with you. You just have to turn towards the light of God, which is a different path where you're thinking may have been going and you will see what opens up for you, and I'd like to end with what Pastor said about Jesus in Mark, chapter 1, 33 through 36.

Mary Koning:

We aren't alone in how we feel that Jesus emptied himself of his God qualities so he could come to earth to know exactly how we feel. And he was discouraged, and he was hungry and tired and lonely and facing insurmountable challenges. He knows what you're going through and he knows the solution also. So, lord, we just ask in Jesus name to help us know how to pray, and when we don't have the words, just the groanings in the spirit. But, lord, give us a grateful heart, be the lifter of our face up to you so we can find hope and peace in your holy presence. In Jesus name we pray, amen.

Announcer:

Amen. Thank you for joining us for today's podcast. Amen Amen.

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Tiffany Windsor

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